Part 2, Chemo

My Wonderful Husband Steve

My husband Steve decided to shave his head too.

Well, I’ve had 3 treatments they come every 21 days.  Surprisingly I’m not feeling any ill effects, the only thing that has been going on are my feet are usually super cold, and my hair decided it didn’t like my head much.  To combat those two things, I wear awesome slippers made by Kristi Stone, and I shaved my head.  I think it was the hair in the tooth brush that was the last straw … or hair!  My white cell count is right on the border of being okay enough for chemo, and not being able to take it.  So, they gave me shots that I have to give to myself once a day for 7 days.  Now those are another story.  I do not like them at all.  Not the giving myself the shot part, that is no big deal needle is short and thin.  What I don’t like is how it makes me feel, while the medicine is encouraging your bones to create more white blood cells, it also makes your bones feel like they have the flu.  Hard to move around and such.  But a day after I stop with the shots it subsides.

I had another CT scan last Thursday 4/26/2012 that wasn’t a lot of fun either.  Iodine makes your whole body burn, strange feeling starts at your head and travels down your entire body … yes parts you didn’t know would become HOT started to burn.  It only lasts about a minute or so but still not a lot of fun.  I won’t know the results of that until this coming Monday.  My prayer is that the cells have shrunk my miracle prayer is that they are GONE!!

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My Cancer Journey

It all started Tuesday February 7, 2012.  I was having a headache, and this time it wouldn’t go away. I kept rubbing my forehead and telling Steve (my husband) that it felt like sinus but not exactly like sinus.  Went to bed that night and the next morning around 3:30 am it hurt a lot, I kept trying to find positions I could be in to fall back asleep.

At 5:00 am I rose out of bed to see what was going on.  It was swollen, very swollen.  I decided to make a doctor appt. because of the pain that was associated with it.  I had an appt early that morning, and by the time I got there I could barley open my eye.  The doctor said I shouldn’t be driving because I couldn’t read the letters on the chart except for the E haha.  Well I can see I just couldn’t read!

The doctor said it was blephoritis and gave me some antibiotics and some salve to put in my eye. During the night I cried all night, it was so painful I kept throwing up every time I did anything.  Steve stayed home from work and took me back to the doctor the next morning.  Although it was a different doctor.  That doctor sent me to an eye doctor in Riverside.  That doctor took one look at me and sent me to urgent care and wanted a CT scan done.  When I got to Urgent care they gave me meds to help stop the pain, and after a while they sent me to x-ray.  X-ray showed no problem.  They ended up having to give me morphine to stop the pain.  I was sent home with pain medication and told to return the next day to be rechecked. I was back the next day, Friday and they said it was celluitis and was looking worse but less pain cause of the medicine.  Over the weekend it kept feeling like something was pushing my eye out of my head.  I made an appt with my regular doctor because I didn’t want to see anyone else.  So Tuesday Feb 15th  I seen Dr. Mc Bride.  She agreed, the mass was pushing my eye out and down.  She sent me back to the same optometrist in Riverside right then and there.

When we got there he was shocked! He didn’t understand why urgent care didn’t do the CT-scan like he had wanted them to do. He sent me to a specialist in Fontana that same day.  The doctor I seen was Doctor Li, she looked at me and said she needed to do a biopsy ASAP.  She also mentioned that she needed to do an MRI to know the size of the mass she would be dealing with.  Okay so I get a valume and do the MRI, then I head over to out patient surgery.  While waiting for surgery, Dr. Li comes in and tells us we have the results of the MRI, and said it’s worse than they thought.   There was a large mass behind my eye very close to the optical nerve.  There was also a spot above the eyebrow in the same area, and another one across the forehead from that.  So, a nurologist was called in to biopsy that too.

2/16/2012  Surgery went well, it helped my eye pain 100%.  I was told that what came out after they cut the eye open was clear liquid like water and blood, as thick as motor oil.  They were all astounded and didn’t know what to think of it.  I was feeling very good with all the pressure removed from my eye.  I was finally able to open my eye a little since the 8th of February.  I was happy to be able to see, even though it was double, I could still see.

Things seemed to be going fairly well, I almost went home that night. That afternoon I was told they wanted to do a contrast CT-scan..  So, okay what ever I’ll do another one.  No big deal.  So, the next morning 2/17/2012 they come and get me for the CT-scan.  Still everything was going well.  Physical therapy came by and I was given permission to walk.  I was told I’d be going home soon.   Yay, I was up and walking around feeling really good, so excited to have this over with!.

2/18/2012  The next morning 3 doctors came in and said they wanted to do another MRI because they found ‘abnormalities’ on the CT-scan.  I found out it was going to be ab hour long MRI.  Started crying and told them that I needed to be knocked out for that. I couldn’t be in a tube for an hour.  They left to see what they could do for that.

About an hour and a half later Dr. Steiner the one who did the biopsy came in.  And quite bluntly says “You have a legion on your lung, hip and lower spine.  It’s cancer and it’s metastasizing.”  At that very moment my whole body lit on fire and my whole world changed.  No one was in the room except myself and the doctor. I asked the doctor if this was normal.  He said “what?” I told him my whole body is like 20-30 degrees hotter all over.  He said, yes that’s an instant reaction to stress.  I looked at him and told him I’m not doing the MRI.  He said okay I’ll cancel it and you can just go home, and he left the room.

I called Steve, all I could do is cry and say his name over and over again.  He said he was on the freeway and he’d be there soon.  So, we hung up and I called Bridgette.  I thought I could keep it together, but I couldn’t, I did the same thing with her.  Just cried and said her name over and over again.  I can only imagine how those words felt to each of them, I’m sure it’s something neither of them will ever forget.  After a while she calmed me down enough and asked what was wrong.  For the first time I had to say the words “I have cancer”.  Upon saying those words my whole body felt on fire again.  She was silent, for a moment and then we talked for a while.  She wanted to come and pound on the doctor for the way he told me.  Steve showed up so Bridgette and I hung up.  I told Steve what the doctor said, it was quite a shock.  Not the news we were expecting.  As Steve was processing this, Wyatt called and wanted to come to the hospital.  So, I told Steve go ahead and get him.

During the time Steve was gone Pastor Jim called, and I told him what the diagnosis was.  I told him that Steve had gone to get Wyatt.  He offered to be there when we told Wyatt, and I said yes, indeed.  So he came to the hospital.  Telling Wyatt was hard but there was only one way to tell him and that was to just do it.  He seemed to freeze up, just kind of sat there trying to process it logically I guess.  I asked Wyatt to pray for me because I knew he needed to cry at that moment.  Even if he didn’t do it again for a while.  He did pray for me, and toward the end of the prayer he broke down and fell into my arms and cried his heart out.  That was when Jim left the room.  Too much emotion and to give us some privacy.  We just all held each other for a few minutes.  Then Wyatt went to get Pastor Jim.  I went home Friday night.  There was no need for more tests, no need to stay there at all.  I just wanted to get out of there!  Believe me, I was HAPPY to be home.

The hard part was next, telling my mother.  She was beside her self, Bridgette and Alex were coming out with Wensdae and Mother rode with them.  She told her she needed to see me.  It was nice to have them come over.  I know mother needed to be next to me.  It was Shabbat so it was nice to have people there.  After Shabbat services the Eastons came over.  Aaron, Josephine, Jessica, J-Anne, Marsha, Dana and Neece.  It was nice.  Jessica started playing the piano and we ended up singing.  Just the women, the guys had left to check out the barn.  So that was nice.  I cried and said I didn’t want to have cancer.  I did’t mean to burst out like that, but it is true.

Since this time I have been on a roller coaster of emotions.  Wanting to laugh a lot, crying and being mad.  Wyatt and I went to see Dr. Mc Bride again and she was so sorry to hear the news.  She showed Wyatt and I where the spots were, she ordered an appt with my own urologist in Riverside.  That was nice, I didn’t want to go to a new one in Fontana just to do all the stuff over again.  She told me to start on a total vegan diet, and to get the book “The China Study”  So, I did.   She said to start juicing so I want to start juicing soon to get extra nutrients quickly into my system.

Now, I’m suffering with the waiting game.  Waiting to see the oncologist to see what the steps are next.  2/27/2012 I’m supposed to see the oncologist to find out what type of cancer it is and how to fight it.  BUT 3 hours before the visit they called and canceled the appt.  What JERKS!!  The doctor wasn’t even in that day.  I don’t understand why they couldn’t have given me an appt for the day he was in.  So, I called my doctor and asked her for an appt to Riverside to switch doctors.  It’s closer for one and I like Riverside office better.  Hopefully it will happen soon!!

2/28/2012  IT HAPPENED!!  I have the referral to the Riverside oncologist!!  Tomorrow I can make my appointment.  WOW, I don’t have to do that, they called and I see them Monday!  YAY, so Monday I will know more.

3/5/2012  Well today was my appt with the oncologist.  What I have is lung cancer that has spread.  He gave me an expiration date, based upon his knowledge and whether or not we do anything to fight it.  That’s fine, he doesn’t know MY GOD!!  I will be healed I know this. I trust God for this.  I will pray believing that I will be healed.  I will shout it from the roof tops!!   I have such a wonderful support group.  My FICH friends have been coming over bringing dinners since I left the hospital.  As soon as they found out it was vegan, they hopped right on it and started bringing vegan meals.  Some are totally YUMMY!!  They have been sending me videos that are stand up comedy to watch.  Sending me little messages to let me know they are praying for me, that they love me and so on.  It’s been wonderful.  Bridgette has jumped on line and found out things for me to do and take to help fight this.  She bought me a blanket to take to my chemo appts.  She bought me a blue ray player so I can watch netflix, hulu or amazon prime or just dvd’s!!  How sweet is that?  Keisha sent me a big gray purse and a couple of DVD’s to watch.  So funny!  Wyatt has been checking on me and coming into the room when he feels I’ve been holed up too long.  Just to make sure I’m not getting depressed.

Steve, has been my rock through all this.  He is so understanding, so willing to help and just to be there.  He said something so touching one morning.  He was about to leave for work and stopped, sat on the bed and said “I love you, I’ve always loved you. But till now, I have realized just how much I love you!”  I think sometimes we get complacent and just take things for granted, or just assume it will always be there.  This turn in our road has shown us how fast that road can change.

I told my mother what the doctor said, and it really hurt to see her so hurt.  I mentioned to her that I’m doing all I can.  And that we were waiting for $$ to come in so I could get a juicer.  She said “you’ve got it”  I looked at her and said … Mother it’s like $435.00.  She cried and said don’t tell me no!  If I can’t spend that much to help try and save my daughters life then what is wrong with me?  I held her and told her, I would never tell her no.  I would accept her blessing.  She called into work and told them she wasn’t coming in.  So, we took off and met up with Bridgette and Alex and Malcolm.  We went to a market, then went to Ikea to get lamps.  Then we popped over to a place called Native Foods.  Talk about YUMMY!!  It was so good.  We all loved it and it was all totally vegan!  From there we went to Whole Foods and did a little shopping.  Mother was so happy to be out of the house.  Bridgette and Alex took her home for us so we could hit the toll road.  I enjoyed spending the day with her.  I want to do it again soon and head back over to Native Foods!!

I had my first round of Chemo, and discovered that I’m starting off with 6 rounds.  So far so good.  I didn’t get an upset stomach.  But I am having trouble using the bathroom, headaches and feet are like ice cubes. That’s okay, I’m thrilled I’m not throwing up!  I hate throwing up.  But as more medicine gets into my system who knows what will happen.  They said that my hair would fall out, but that would be after a few times.  I don’t really care.  I’m prepared for that.  No big deal.  I have scarves to cover my head with.  And wouldn’t you know it, while we were gone getting my Chemo, the juicer came!  haha  So they delivered it the next day instead.  It works wonderful, when it says that the food comes out dry it does.  We can take that and use it when we make bread.  But fresh carrot juice is awesome! Well folks, I need to rest.  My good friend is stopping by today to bring a meal and fellowship.  I’m looking forward to it!!

This is an ongoing journal so I will be adding more later.   Until then … Peace Out, and may God Richly Bless You,

3/20/2012 Hello, today was another doctor appt.  It was with the doctor who let me know I had cancer. Today I seen a totally different person.  He was very kind and truly upset over the findings. He was glad that they discovered what was wrong though, as I was.  He hoped that all my treatments would heal me.  I mentioned to him that I was total vegan and he began telling me things to eat.  And mentioned that he too was vegan.  Then he said something that surprised Steve and I.  He said that his colleagues were thinking of writing a paper for the American Medical Journal.  They wanted to put my case in there.  I would remain anonymous but the case would be in there.  He said it was a very strange case and a strange way to discover lung cancer. It would help other doctors and give them something to look for, as well as be a precedent case.  I agreed, heck if it can help someone else fine.

Then I showed him my arm.  Last night it started hurting, and of course after my eye, I was pretty nervous about it.  I have a red line that goes along the vein and it feels bruised.  He said to call the oncology dept, and they might say to put a warm compress on it and keep it elevated.  He said it was blocked, which happens sometimes with Chemo.  When I got home I called and that’s exactly what they said to do.  I have been using a heating pad, but there’s been no real change so this time I’m going to try a wet warm compress and see what that does.  If it doesn’t change by tomorrow then I have to head to urgent care.

Yesterday I had a wonderful pumpkin soup delivered by a wonderful friend and today I had a 3 bean chili delivered.  I feel so spoiled!  Anyway, that is all I have for now.  It’s late and I need to rest.  God Bless You All.

Sukkot 2011 Deuteronomy 16: 13-15

Blowing the Shofar's

This time was fantastic!  This picture was taken with a friends camera.  The ones I took with my camera have the same orbs or spots on the picture.  On my pictures it seems as if something is in the middle of the circles, in this picture you can see it much better.   My son Wyatt is in the middle.  At times there were 6 shofar blowers.  And the sound of that many shofar’s in unison is awe-inspiring!  

Our stay was for the entire 8 days.  In the morning we would head to “camp central” and pray, then we’d have a morning worship service, and teaching.  In the mid afternoon we’d have a midrash on the book of Ruth.  There was a 5-6 hour break to just enjoy each other, have lunch and then return to “camp central” for the evening worship service.  

We had plenty of service meetings and plenty of free time. The kids had such a wonderful time.  All the boys “Wyatt, Lavon, Jacob and JR” helped with the kids.  They were dressed up as  ” King – Wyatt” ; “Tax collector – Jacob”; “Bead maker – Lavon”; ” Farmer – JR.”

"The King - Wyatt"

"The Tax Collector - Jacob"

"The Bead maker- Lavon"

"The Farmer - JR"

 

They did such a good job!!  I’m going to figure out how to upload a slide show of all the pictures taken at Sukkot.  But for now I thought I’d share this, and of course I’m going to write about just how awesome our time was!  So let’s call this a taste of Sukkot 2011!

Picks from the Garden:

Well, I have realized one thing, don’t I repeat DON’T shake your corn before it’s time.  Someone was showing me how corn needed to be shook if the wind didn’t blow well enough around them.  And I was informed that it should be done with the silk was showing quite well.  Well …. we ended up with two sad little ears of corn because in this wonderful example of what to do … my corn never was pollinated the way it should have been.  So … next year I will plant heirloom seeds and put them in an area where they will be able to be more “crop” like.  And I’ll put a sign saying “Please don’t shake the Corn”  hahaha.  

hot peppers, onions, beet, corn, acorn squash, tomatoes and red bell pepper

More Blessings from the Garden

 After a few months of praying and watering, this is what Adonai has given us …   

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So far, what I have growing is:  corn, acorn squash, sunflowers, jalapenos, hot banana peppers, bell peppers, tomatillos, sweet banana peppers, habaneros, green onion, nashturshium, several varieties of tomatoes, crook neck squash, watermelon, potatoes, sweet bell peppers, and tobasco. 

The Up-Side of Africa

                                                                        2.24.06

After leaving the airport, we dropped our bags in the rooms and then we were off, of all places to a funeral. We were in the procession that was to walk by the casket. Well that is not done like it is done in America. This was basically the person laid out on a table, no embalming fluid, no clean up except for nice clothes, and tissue in his nose, the smell was horrible. Outside we stood around while they loaded him I believe he was related to Joseph not sure though, into the bus so they could drive him back to be buried in Kigoma. So that was Wyatt’s introduction to Africa, he had never seen a dead person before, there were many questions to answer.

                                                                         2.24.06

After a few hours we were on the boat to Zanzibar we were finally able to rest. Wyatt and I went outside the boat to the shady side. It was really nice there, the breeze felt wonderful. There was a young man there asking why we were there. Wyatt started to explain to him that we were missionaries and we were there to tell people about Jesus. He smiled and said YOU? a missionary. Wyatt said, yes God uses everyone not just adults. He laughed and agreed.  We discovered that he went to a church in Lindi.  I remember because I kept thinking he was saying Linda at first. And I thought it wasn’t in Tanzania but it is.  He was traveling to Zanzibar to meet with friends and work for a while. He was Christian, but I always wonder if he truly knew what that meant. So, he was a part of Wyatt’s and mine prayer for the next few days.  He had lots of interesting things to talk about, then came along Mike, who stood close and then joined in the conversation. That was okay, I know he was being our watch dog for the moment and that was a good thing.

                                                                 2.25.06

Getting passports looked at and stamped in Zanzibar was a HOT long wait. I wished I could have kept Wyatt cool but to no avail he thought the air around him was hotter than the air around me. Silly boy! Finally we were through with checking passports and on to an air conditioned bus/coach YAY that was such a wonderful feeling. We were dropped off at a motel. At first I looked around and although it was fancy, I didn’t like the “cold feel” it gave me. Too much like being on vacation and not on a mission trip. We waited for what felt like forever for the rest of our companions to arrive. Then we were transported to the place where we actually stayed. That place was awesome. It was like a private neighborhood with bungalows, I called them huts because of the grass thatch on each roof. The beds were nice and the showers were a welcome relief after such a long day.

                                                                  2.25.06

We most enjoyed early mornings and late evenings when the air was cooler. Once wile there we all sat outside watching such a wonderful lightning show. We watched the sun come up, sang praise songs and then before you knew it we were in the water, getting Baptized in the Indian Ocean. It was so awesome. An experience I will never forget. Especially Wyatt’s being Baptized. Once he had risen from the water all of the men who were there tossed him to one another.  He was only 12 years old.  That was wonderful and he talked about it for months afterward. It was an experience that he will carry with him for the rest of his life.

                                                                    2.25.06

Then we were off to the Orphanage, that was nice, the children were so happy to see us. Some of the older girls talked about how they were looking forward to leaving. The director, left a lot to be desired. I didn’t care for him at all. While waiting to go inside, Wyatt was able to get his picture taken with a Masai Warrior. He thought that was super cool.

                                                                2.25.06

Then it was on to the spice tour. That was exciting. I learned quite a bit there. I never knew that the Cinnamon tree had roots that were used to clear stuffy noses and with hot water breathing when congested. I learned a lot about the Pepper tree and so much more! The coconut tree climber was fun to watch. And I think banana leaves were used to make our baskets if not then it was coconut leaves. Come to think of it I believe it was coconut leaves.

                                                                     2.26.06

From there we went to visit a resort, they wanted to show us that not all of Zanzibar was poor, dirty and well ugly. They were right, they had a resort area where all the “la tee dahs” could go and visit and never have to look at what lays behind them in the dense forest. The beach was beautiful, white sand, clear water, such a beautiful aqua green color you could see all the way out and see the bottom of the ocean. Little fish were swimming by, and they had the most amazing tree’s I’d ever seen. I so much wanted to go out and swim, but we were waiting for a table to be made ready. The water felt so good on our feet. That place was awesome, but I still preferred our little place, it felt more homey. I remember two women coming up to talk with Wyatt and I, Wyatt was telling them we were missionaries and why we were there, they were listening and then a Masai came up to them and told them to move along. Wyatt looked and asked why, he smiled at Wyatt and said they are not good women. Later I found out they were prostitutes. How kind of that Masai to think of Wyatt and I in such a manner as to shoo them away. I can only pray that the small about of time they did listen to Wyatt that the Lord was able to speak to their hearts.

Beauty meets Death                                                                     2.26.06

While riding through Zanzibar we could smell death everywhere. The air would be fine then suddenly the smell of death. Once you smell it you never forget what it is. Wyatt recognized it right away. Every time we smelt it we said a silent prayer for the people left behind.  We were there during Malaria season.

Back to Dar Es Salaam: That boat ride wasn’t too bad either. At least there was a shady side to the boat and a cool breeze. We didn’t stay sitting inside because of the fumes.

                                                                     2.27.06

So, at the rooms there was another battle, I think the enemy was after us from the start. Wyatt and I were to room together, but things didn’t work out that way. He was scared but when he discovered he was going to be with Pole Pole he calmed down. He didn’t like it in that room. He said it didn’t feel right in there at all. I asked why, he said he didn’t know but it was like the devil was lurking outside and he was scared but didn’t want to say anything. I asked why not he said he didn’t want to seem like a big baby. I told him not to worry about it because Theria was to leave for kigoma and he would be with me. He felt much better. BUT as it turned out Theria couldn’t go. She so wanted to but her feet and God told her NO stay right where you are. We were in our beds for the night, and I laid there wondering what I was going to do. I thought, I wouldn’t leave Wyatt down there again, I had a net so if need be we would just sleep upstairs. It’s not like it was going to get too cold after all!


                                                                        2.28.06

Suddenly in the middle of the night while I was sleeping I heard someone call m name but it wasn’t exactly my name. He said Paimbia … after a couple times I woke up and asked Theria what was wrong. She said, Nothing Pam, why? I told her I thought I heard her calling me. No, she said and then went back to sleep. I went to sleep too, and I heard it again …” Paimbia .. Paimbia then very loud almost yelling PAMBIA!” I woke up and said What? Theria are you okay? What? She annoyed the second time said Nothing is wrong, I said but I thought I heard you call me. No, Pam I’m trying to sleep.  So, okay it’s not her. So I went back to sleep. Then I heard people hundreds of them murmuring and saying things I couldn’t understand then that same person called my name, and kept calling my name and then all of then were calling my name .. Paimbia … and it kept getting louder. I woke up scared out of my wits and said WHAT? Theira you keep calling me what is wrong. She paused, and said I’m not calling you Pam. I said someone is saying Paimbia and they keep yelling it at me. Suddenly Theira jumped up and said Pam what are you hearing? I told her what had happened each time. She said, Pam that is the Holy Spirit .. God is calling you get up. So we both got up. Theira started praying, I was crying, shaking and praying. Then we started singing. I put on Wyatt’s CD and we even started singing some of Carmen’s songs. Then out of no where something inside me (cause I am never this brave) went to our window and yelled as loud as I could, “IF ANYONE CAN HEAR THE SOUND OF MY VOICE GET UP AND PRAY NOW”. Yeah yell that to a country that speaks Swahili. LOL Theira and I started praying and singing even more.

                                                                    2/29/06

Marty said the next morning that he heard someone yell get up and pray NOW and it woke them up so Him, Larry and Art started praying. Well as it turned out, the next morning there was trouble in the camp. Trouble bewteen the missionaries who had come to spread the gospel. I wanted to wisk Wyatt out of there but there was no where to go. So he had to witness arguing in his room, and arguing at the devotion area. He doesn’t live with arguing so it was pretty shocking for him. Asperger children don’t do well with yelling and bad “vibes” another new experience. Only some people seem meaner when they are angry and that scared him.

Theria listening to what God was telling her, gave her ticket to Mike. So Mike, Jeffer, Larry, Ron and Kory and Pole Pole were off to Kigoma. I felt dread come over me, what was I going to do about Wyatt? Neither of us wanted to be down there. He didn’t like it down there, while thinking of what to do Marty said, to Wyatt so I guess you’re gonna be our roomy!! Wyatt looked at me, I nodded and Wyatt gave his sigh and yell of approval.

                                                                     3.2.06

He was so happy to be away from down there. I thought he was gonna rush his bags to Marty’s room right that moment.  God answered that prayer right away. My son was safe, in the next room. With two men who had only his best interest at hand. Marty knew how to take care of Wyatt because God had blessed him with children, who were around Wyatt’s age at that time. So he just became like Wyatt’s surrogate Dad while he was there.  Wyatt was suffering from what was sure to be heat stroke. We put water on him and then Marty came by took one look at him and said here, reached his hand to Wyatt and put him on his back, later he was transferred to his shoulders until Wyatt gained his strength back.

                                                              3/2/06

We went from place to place seeing the beautiful parts of Tanzania, they didn’t want us to think it was all ugly. And I totally understand. If most of America looked like that we’d want to show people the pretty parts. We went to the school that we supported, and talked with the children. We talked with the Masai. We handed out salvation bracelets everywhere we went.

                                                                3.2.06

We walked the streets and went into neighborhoods and spoke with people there, and through Ezekiel we were able to reach several people with the news of Yeshua’s Love for them. We in America don’t know true poverty. We only have an idea of what it is like. Because our worst poverty level, is a nice place to live for them. The only places that come close are the places under the city in the water shafts that are no longer used but lived in.

                                                                    3.27.06

We went to Ezekiel’s neighborhood where he was staying, we could only take pictures in his home because it was a police compound. His daughter was such a sweetheart. We did not get to meet his son because he was away at school.

                                                                       3.15.06

We also went to see the home he was building, and were able to witness to people and yes children there. Wyatt had a goal to reach all the children in Africa, and when he drove past and watched all the children getting off the busses from school on the way to Ezekiel’s, he looked at me and said “Mother Bear who is going to tell all those kids about Yeshua?” I told him all we can do is pray that God sends someone to reach them. Then he said, maybe it will be Ezekiel because he is going to live around there.

                                                           3.15.06

For our time spent in Dar for a week we did a lot of street ministry, and going places, like to HOFUMI, seeing Joseph’s and Mama Sophia’s homes and neighborhoods. We got to know John and Ezekiel very well. That was an honor to know such a man on fire for the Lord as Ezekiel.

                                                                                                3.3.06

I remember being on the paito talking with Ezekiel and the woman caddy corner from us had a baby that had been crying for a couple of days. I was telling him that I wish there was something I could do to help the baby. He said it might be crying but the mother can’t help it when there is no money for doctors. He said she probably lived there because either her or her husband works close by.

I asked him what that sign above her door said. He told me it wasn’t her door is was a little store front. I asked him if he would take me over there and speak for me. He said sure lets go. So we walked over there. She had the most beautiful scarves. We were there for what seemed like an hour, it was during our down time so it may have been an hour. I talked with her and her daughter while Ezekiel translated everything for us. I bought 8 scarves from her, and paid way more than the asking price.

She did not want to just take the money, and that was fine with me. It told Ezekiel that I was not there to be a hand out, and that I loved the stuff she had, I would not offend her dignity and I would buy but only if she let me pay my price. She looked a little worried but agreed. Then I paid her and she started crying. I was so blessed to see those tears because they were tears of joy. I told Ezekiel to have her be sure and take the baby to the doctor.

I kept telling her that Yeshua was the one who spoke to my heart and it was Yeshua that she needed to know was blessing her. She and her daughter just kept crying and talking with us. That was a moment that I know as a mother, wondering what her child will eat, and how to keep her well … I know what that meant to her. I never wanted anyone to know what happened over there, I wanted it to stay between us and Jesus. But, I know that God says to let someone else sing your praises. When people asked Ezekiel where we were coming from, he told them. Before you knew it some of the other ladies had gone over there to purchase something from her. So that mother, with many children and a baby in tears, was blessed by Jesus and I hope that she forever knows it was Jesus to first spoke to the missionaries across the way.

                                                               3.9.06

We went to the soccer field and the school. We weren’t able to really tour the school because it was in session at the time. But we were able to see the soccer players practice. It was very interesting to see how they practiced, almost in rhythm with a cool beat to it. We were able to sit and listen to the kids sing and we were able to share with them.

And that’s where it happened. Someone touched my hand when we did the “fancy” hand shake and I kept thinking something was different. And I looked around and didn’t see anything unusual. But it was like electricity. I thought someone was playing a trick on me so I checked my hand to see it there was a pin prick on it., but there wasn’t. Silently I was praying that I wasn’t just given a deliberate disease. From the field we went to DYOC to see where some of the boys were staying. We took pictures and talked with the boys. Wyatt stayed in the living room with the boys and they talked and joked around. When we finished the tour one boy came to me and said “Mama can I give email to your son?” I smiled and said yes you can, and I asked him if he wanted mine, and he said “Oh yes please mama thank you” So he tore a piece of paper in half and gave Wyatt his email and I gave him my email. I told him that when I got home I would put his email with Wyatt’s so they could write to each other. He smiled at me and laughed and said “Okay, okay Mama that will be good” As we left the boys all hugged Wyatt good bye and the one boy smiled at me and said, “thank you mama” as we left. I heard those words in my heart, off and on and I thought about him often for the rest of our trip.

                                                                 this was taken before he came to the orphanage, he was a street boy then.

Just to let you know, that boy was Haji, and to day I believe that the electricity that I felt was possibly a note from God saying this is the boy I am giving to you. Haji has been a part of our lives since March of 2006, he is our son, and Wyatt’s brother. This will last forever.

My handsome son around 17 not sure.

Off to Arusha: the bus ride there was the best time ever, We laughed and played jokes and sang songs the whole time there. Kory was harassing Cowboy the whole time, joking with him and convincing him that he needs only ONE woman not and she’d count on her fingers and laugh. It was so funny. Ezekiel and Joseph would sing. We stopped at a place so people could grab a bite to eat and the bathrooms were something to behold!!

                                                          no, that’s not poo, it’s mud.  3.6.06

Very much like the bathrooms in Italy except these didn’t have a window for people to look in and see if it was empty or not like Italy does. A bucket of water tossed in the drain was how you flushed it. too funny!

On the way there Wyatt had Ezekiel write in Swahili what he wanted to say so he could practice it and be able to speak to the kids in Swahili. He did such a good job.

                                                            3.7.06

Kurwa fell in love with Wyatt and had her picture taken with him several times. She wasn’t the only girl to fall in love with Wyatt during our trip.

                                                               3.5.2006

Some girls at the church we went to I think it was called New Life Church fell in love with Wyatt, Ezekiel said they were arguing about who was going to marry him the next day. How sweet is that?

                                                                 3.15.06

We were honored to see a Masai dance. And all of this only covers the tip of the ice burg … or fire pit, it’s hot in Africa LOL But the Up Side of Africa, was awesome, far out weighs the Down Side of Africa and I would go back in a heart beat!
Tanzania, is my other home! Part of my heart is there. I left another portion of my heart in Israel but that’s another long story.

As you can tell from the dates on the pictures, this story isn’t in chronological order.  It was part of my diary that I wrote as soon as I returned. I hope you’ve enjoyed this part of my African Journey.

God Bless all who take the time to read this, and God Bless My Fellow Missionaries. The ones who were on this trip and the ones around the world!

                                                                                                                     African Journey

The Book’s I’ve Read

Here is a list of the books I’ve read since getting my Kindle in December 2010:   This list does NOT include the Bibles and Cook Books and such that I have down loaded.  These are just the Christian themed fiction books!!

Author:  Jerry B. Jenkins      Underground Zealot Series

Soon                                   

Silenced

Shadowed

After reading all of the Left Behind and Left Behind Kids series I just couldn’t get enough.  Then, for a Chanukkah gift, I was given a Kindle.  So of course I used my gift certificate to get more Jerry B. Jenkins.  That was all it took I was officially HOOKED on my Kindle!!

 Author:  Marta Perry

Hide in Plain Sight                      

A Christmas to Die For

Buried Sins

Marta Perry was my first glimpse into reading Christian Mysteries.  They weren’t “preachy” but you could see how God works in their lives.  By thing’s they would bring up, saying a prayer in times of trouble or thankfulness.  It really was good.  So I decided to try even more.  I started with the “free” book, then found myself ordering the next one and the next one … and so on.  The best part is that most of these books weren’t much over $5.oo   And A lot that I have on my Kindle were “free”!!!   Maybe one day I’ll add my whole list, just for fun!!

Author:  O. Henry    

The Gift of the Magi                      

I’m not ready to render a verdict on this one, until I give it another read.

Author:    Lynette Eason          Women of Justice Series

Too Close to Home           

Don’t Look Back

A Killer Among Us

Lethal Deception

River of Secrets

Holiday Illusion

Protective Custody

Missing

All of Lynette Eason’s books were fun to read, as you can tell by the amount of her books I read!!   The real delight of having my Kindle was being able to go instantly into the next book.  No carrying around 3 or 4 books at a time.

Author:    Robin Parrish                        Dominion Trilogy

Relentless                           

Fearless

Merciless

Robin Parrish is a fantastic fantasy writer!!     I was hoping there would be a way to write yet another, but alas the word “Trilogy” kind of means there won’t be another one!!

Author:   Lorena McCourtney            Ivy Malone Mysteries

Invisible              

In Plain Sight

On the Run

Stranded

The Ive Malone series was a lot of fun.  It’s about someone around my Mom’s age.  Ivy is a feisty, go-get-em investigator, and adventurer.  Someone you just wanna hug and love forever!!  Ivy Malone Rocks!!

Author:   Nicole Young     Patricia Amble Mystery Series

Love Me If You Must     

Kill Me If You Can

Kiss Me If You Dare

This was a really good series.  I could have kicked Patricia a few times, but that would be the part where I could say … I felt like I was there!

Author: Diana Wallis Taylor

Journey to the Well:          EXCELLENT!!!

Martha:              EXCELLENT!!!

These two books weren’t only excellent, they were an inspiration to me.  I truly fell in love with these two women.   I would HIGHLY recommend both books.  I will be reading these again!

The Prisoner in the Thrid Cell                          Gene Edwards      

Blah, started good but over all, I wouldn’t read it again.  It was not so much a book as it was a Bible lesson …. not my style at all.  I don’t need Q and A in what is supposed to be a book.  In some books it was okay, I didn’t mind.  But this one, there wasn’t enough of a story to warrant so many of the Q and A pages.  Besides if you’re going to write about Biblical history … make it as realistic as possible.  Research many  history books to get a feel for the true life and times, not just clips here and there from only the  Bible.  There are too many writings out there of what daily life was like to help create your story with better narratives.  Nah, didn’t like it.

Author:  Lynn Austin      

Chronicles of the Kings Series    Book      #1 —  #5

Gods and Kings                               

Song of Redemption

The Strength of His Hand

Faith of My Fathers

Among the Gods

My hat is off to Lynn Austin!!!!  The whole Chronicles of the Kings series is fantastic, if you haven’t read it, you should!!   Of all the Books I’ve read so far I’d have to say that this was by far the best!   She did her research, you felt like you were there. I could “see” where they were. I traveled with them, felt their struggles.  I was scared for them, happy with them.  I shed tears when they did and laughed when they did.  This series will always be on the top ten of anything I have read!!  I would love it if she would write MORE with this theme in mind.   I am officially a FAN of Lynn Austin’s Chronicles of the Kings series!!

Hello Friends

This is something I am totally new at. I wanted a place where I can go and keep my thoughts. And if anyone wanted to share theirs with me, that would be wonderful. Adonai is my stregnth, I hope he is your’s too!!

How I Got My Name

We were on a Mission Trip to East Africa, here is part of the story:

Indian Ocean from our roof top.

The battle begins: I think the enemy was after us from the start. Wyatt and I were to room together, but things didn’t work out that way. He was scared but when he discovered he was going to be with Pole Pole he calmed down.  Yet, he didn’t like it in that room. He said it didn’t feel right in there at all. I asked why, he said he didn’t know but it was like the devil was lurking outside and he was scared but didn’t want to say anything.   I asked why not he said he didn’t want to seem like a big baby. After all, there were a few guys that thought he shouldn’t have come cause he was “only” 12.  I told him not to worry about it because Theria was to leave for kigoma and the next day he would be with me.  That was a relief and he felt much better.

BUT as it turned out Theria couldn’t go. She so wanted to but her feet and God told her NO stay right where you are.  Her foot was still very swollen from the plane ride to Africa. We were in our beds for the night, and I laid there wondering what I was going to do. I thought, I wouldn’t leave Wyatt down there again, I had a mosquito net so if need be we would just sleep upstairs on the roof top. It’s not like it was going to get too cold after all!

Suddenly in the middle of the night while I was sleeping I heard someone call my name but it wasn’t exactly my name. He said Paimbia … after a couple times I woke up and asked Theria what was wrong.  She said, Nothing Pam, why? I told her I thought I heard her calling me. No, she said and then went back to sleep.  So, I went back to sleep, and after a while I heard it again …”Paimbia …. Paimbia” then very loud almost yelling “PAMBIA!”  I woke up and said WHAT? Theria are you okay? What? She was annoyed the second time said “Nothing is wrong”, I said “but I thought I heard you call me”. She answered: “No, Pam I’m trying to sleep.”

So, okay it’s not her. I went back to sleep again. Then I heard people hundreds of them murmuring and saying things I couldn’t understand then that same person called my name, and kept calling my name and then all of the people were calling my name .. Paimbia … PAIMBIA and it kept getting louder.  I woke up scared out of my wits and said” WHAT? Theira you keep calling me what is wrong?”
She paused, and said I’m not calling you Pam. I said “someone is saying Paimbia and they keep yelling it at me.”

Suddenly,  Theria jumped up and said Pam what are you hearing? I told her what had happened each time. She said, Pam that is the Holy Spirit .. God is calling you get up. So we both got up. Theira started praying, I was crying, shaking and praying. Then we started singing. I put on Wyatt’s CD and we even started singing some of Carmen’s songs. Then out of no where something inside me (cause I am never this brave) caused me to go to our window and yell as loud as I could, “IF ANYONE CAN HEAR THE SOUND OF MY VOICE GET UP AND PRAY NOW”. Yeah yell that to a country that speaks Swahili. LOL Theira and I started praying and singing even more.

The men in the next room to us heard it and woke up and started praying. Unbeknownst to us there was trouble in the “camp”  Our team was divided and the prayer was needed desperately.  Our team separated, Theria gave her ticket to another member and half the team went to Kigoma.  Problem was solved, tension was lifted.

When our interrupter Ezekiel  came to take us out that morning, Theria and I rushed to him to tell him of what happened the night before.  He looked at us and said “Yes, Paimbia … it means sing chorus with angels”  We were shocked because that is what we did, we got up and sang and prayed.  Ezekiel looked at me and said, “Your name has been changed by God”

So, since February 2006, my name has been …. Paimbia!

Paimbia’s Corner

This is how I really wanted it spelt … Paimbia’s Corner!  Because this is just my little corner of the world.  Yet in my little corner I know that Yahweh sees me and loves me for who I am and that is such a blessing.

My favorite thing to do in the morning is listen to http://www.torahclass.com.  I am up to Numbers chapter 33.  And each day is a new beginning.  I learn something new every day and my faith has done nothing but increase.  I think I could listen to Rabbi Tom Bradford all day.  OH WAIT, I do … because his cd’s are in my car!!

I enjoy reading, right now I am reading “Song of Redemption: Chronicles of the Kings” by Lynn Austin.  I’ve read the first book this is the second.  They are wonderful books!!  And man I love my Kindle!!!!!

That’s all for now,

God Bless You All ….. Paimbia